yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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