he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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