talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
