video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
