I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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