I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
