This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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