im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
