i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
