I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
