I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize