Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
