tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
