So drunk its hurt
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
