ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
