Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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