There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
