And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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