I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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