Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
