btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I have post one night stand depression
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