there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Less talking, more tequila
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm both gender and math confused
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
