Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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