how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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