i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
