i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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