I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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