oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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