does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
