I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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