you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
