Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
