Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
