I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. ðŸ˜
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
Randomize
