u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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