I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize