and she was petting her beer can
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
