He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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