just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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