bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I need a beard to bite.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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