you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
