ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
