We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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