she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
