She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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