He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
