I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
