I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
