Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
