I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
