You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Don't make out with my wife yet
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
