I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's rum buckets o'clock
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
