I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
