The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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