I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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