Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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