So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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