Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
