well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
